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Sometimes I Want to Turn Away

8/2/2012

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St. Ann with the Child Mary
“Then Jesus told His disciples, ‘If any man would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me’”(Mt 16:24)

I think that every baby who is born should have—instead of a hospital bracelet—a “cross bracelet” placed on his/her wrist. On the front of the cross his name could be engraved, and on the back of the cross could be engraved: “Sometimes I want to turn away…”  I’m just “joking,” of course, but my joke contains a serious message. The cross is a central part of God’s plan for each of His children—not only the Cross of Christ, but also the cross that each of us shares with Him. It is also true that each person wants, many times, to turn away from his cross. Even Jesus, in the Garden of Gethsemane, called out in anguish to His Loving Father:

 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.” (Mt 26:39)

One of the beautiful gifts of union with our Sorrowful Mother, in union with Jesus, is that we learn (and are given the grace) to accept our crosses; and, in accepting them, we bear beautiful spiritual fruit, which we share with others.

When my daughter, Sofia, was first diagnosed with pervasive development disorder in 1993, I began to go to Eucharistic adoration two nights each week. I urgently needed that time with the Lord. One night I prayed from deep in my heart that the Lord would heal Sofia, and the Lord immediately responded with an image of a beautiful little silver cross laid on a small personal altar—a table with an immaculately white linen cloth on it. I knew immediately that the Lord was communicating that Sofia, with her disabilities—and also my suffering as her mother—was that beautiful little silver cross, which I had the gift to offer to Him. The image was deeply consoling to me, because it showed me in a profound way the great value of Sofia’s affliction, and of my own suffering with her. But, at the same time, it was not the response I wanted from Jesus. I wanted Him to take away the cross of Sofia’s disability. One of the greatest challenges of my spiritual journey has been to seek to accept that little cross and to “count it all joy.”

“Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials…”
(James 1:2)

Prayer is the greatest joy, the sweetest fruit, of accepting that beautiful little cross—prayer growing in my heart and in my family. Once, when I was praying for Sofia because she was crying in pain and couldn’t tell me where her pain was, Mother Mary spoke to my heart and said, “Don’t just pray for her; pray with her.”  So I started praying out loud, “Dear Jesus, please take away Sofia’s pain…” and Sofia (who speaks very little) surprised me by immediately beginning to pray with me, “Take away the pain, Jesus,” in a very heartfelt way, in a way that told me that she probably knows Jesus better than I know Him. Ever since that day, we pray together when she’s having any kind of distress, and often she spontaneously begins the prayer.

To me Sofia’s prayer is an infallible sign of Jesus’ presence with us.

One clear proof of Sofia’s extraordinarily close connection to Jesus occurred when she was a little girl, and she was going through a period of aggression. One time, after she had scratched me, I began praying very intensely to the Child Jesus for her, and she suddenly looked straight in front of her at a spot that only looked like air to me, and she said in an awed voice, “The Little Boy!” Thanks be to Jesus!

“Sometimes I want to turn away.

Then I hear you gently say,

‘Come to the Cross.

Come stand by me.

I who am your Mother

love you tenderly…”

(song “Come to the Cross”

by Annie Karto)

Question for Reflection: What is a “little cross” (that may seem like a big cross) that the Lord has given you? What joy (or fruit) have you received in learning to accept that cross?

 


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Reflection from MB, a little handmaid

Well, to tell a little bit about me, I’m on the pension because of a mental illness, but I’m so much better, as praying helps a lot. I spend my day doing housework, gardening, and going to Mass. I get my daily walk going to and from church. In my spare time I like reading anything that has to do with Jesus and praying, which I can’t go without; otherwise I could panic, or something along those lines. When I have more time, I’ll do the consecration, which I have the books to do (thanks for asking in one of your emails).

So I’m about to go to bed, but before that I’ll read the Bible. I don’t know what time it is over where you are, but goodnight....... We will speak again. May God bless you and your family with the tenderness of the Holy Spirit Amen..............

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Linda’s Reflection

I am the 67 yr. old divorced mother of 10 grown children—8 boys and 2 girls—and   the grandmother to 32 grandchildren.   I ended up raising the youngest three sons alone, and it was difficult, as I had never even had a brother, and raising 8 sons was very different from being raised with a sister!   However, I have to trust that I did the best that I knew how to do, given the circumstances.

Of the eight sons, two of the boys became heavily involved in the world of drugs…David was 45 this year and he will never get any older, as he was shot and killed in his own yard on April 23rd.   He was a troubled man, but he was unarmed and shot in the back when the officers responded to a "domestic dispute" call that evening.   The Mississippi Bureau of Investigation immediately got involved, and the FBI was called in. Understandably, we are all deeply troubled over what has happened.

David suffered from cirrhosis of the liver and Hepatitis C plus a a hernia repair that had broken open and the opening grew larger and larger…But David’s physical issues, as serious as they were, did not define him. What did was the love that he showed to almost all that he came into contact with. His signature behavior was to throw his arms around everyone and kiss them on the cheek as he told them; "I love you, man," or "I love you, bro!"

And it didn't matter WHO you were, either…I'm thinking, in particular, of a few people that came up to me at the visitation on Friday night. The woman had known him for years and years, and he always comforted her when she talked to him. She said she would really miss him…

After I had thought back to his hugs and caring, another picture suddenly appeared in my mind that was as clear as day, and because it was totally unexpected, it had my undivided attention. It was of the crime scene, only in this case I was a spectator, and my eyes were not on David's body lying on the ground, but on his spirit that was radiating peace even as he stood there looking at the police officers in question. You see, David held absolutely no malice in his gaze. For whatever reason, he was totally at peace. Then it came to me. In scripture it says,


If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing." (I Corinthians 13: 1-3 NAB).


However, in the early morning hours when the apartment is quiet and still,  I can see the scene again and again.  I try to tell myself that he is finally out of pain, but every night, in my mind, I see his broken body on the ground and realize anew that he is bleeding to death there on the ground, alone. And the tears run down my face. The only comfort I have found has been in the arms of Our Blessed Mother. She grieves with me as she grieved for her Son all those years ago.

I have tried to give this whole situation to God, to “surrender” it, as this whole situation has been and continues to be one giant act of surrender, or at least it needs to be. I say needs to be because surrender implies a placing of the whole situation into the Lord’s hands without grabbing it away again and clutching it tightly to my breast as I relive the sorrow over and over.

Please continue to pray that I will be able to finally give it over into the Lord’s keeping, trusting that all that happens will finally be redeemed in the sovereign timing of the Lord.


I believe that this would be a good group for me as I would like to be of comfort to others who are struggling …And perhaps, in ministering to others I will finally find peace for myself.

Linda



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Reflection of Rosy Alfaro

Throughout my life I have carried many crosses; although it has been a single cross, for me it became many crosses. I know that the cross, whether it be small or large, is heavy; it hurts. It wounds; it draws from you tears and blood.

But when we look at Christ Crucified, without any guilt, our crosses shrink. If you dwell in the Sorrowful Heart of Mary, you experience the true pain of the Mother, her compassionate love. When you reflect and raise up your eyes to the Eternal Father to tell Him, “Let this chalice pass from me, but not my will, but Thine be done”…my experience has been that, when I share my cross in that way, I have obtained the greatest gifts from God: His caresses, His smiles, His love…and I have no doubt that the cross that is well accepted is the Cross of Christ—whether it is in the form of a child, an old person, a sickness, etc., it is God…Love your cross. 

A little handmaid of the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, 

Rosy

           

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Spiritual Formation Reflections

8/1/2012

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Dear Little Handmaids, sisters in our Sorrowful Mother,

Several weeks ago I was speaking from the heart to our Sorrowful Mother. I was telling her that I felt that I am not doing enough for the Little Handmaids, to help us to grow spiritually. I received a prayer image of me as a very small girl (maybe 2 years old) sitting on our Mother’s lap. In the image I placed my very small hand in Mother Mary’s much larger hand. I was trying to see how my hand compared to my Mother’s hand. Did it look similar? Then our Sorrowful Mother communicated to me that she has that kind of close bond with each of the little handmaids.

In the weeks since then, I have come to understand that the image was our Mother’s way of calling us to reflect on our relationship with her, which is the Heart of our consecration to her and, through her, to Jesus.

With this in mind, I am beginning (with Fr. Jaime’s permission) a series of reflections on our relationship with our Sorrowful Mother, with the goal of our hearts being formed in her Heart. When I send a reflection out, it will end with a question, which you will be invited to reflect on, and, if you would like, you can write your reflection and send it to me, and Rosy and I will send it out to the rest of the little handmaids. With your permission, we will post your reflection on our website, and I will use the reflections to compose a monthly devotional to send out to everyone on our contact lists.

Please pray that the “Holy Spirit living in Mary,” will bless this endeavor.

In the beautiful Hearts of Mary and Jesus,

Cami


"...true devotion to our Lady is holy, that is, it leads us to avoid sin and to imitate the virtues of Mary. Her ten principal virtues are: deep humility, lively faith, blind obedience, unceasing prayer, constant self-denial, surpassing purity, ardent love, heroic patience, angelic kindness, and heavenly wisdom. (from True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary by St. Louis de Montfort)




Mary Comes to Us in Our Need

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To me one of the most touching scenes in the movie The Passion of the Christ is the one in which Mary struggles to get to Jesus as He is carrying His Cross and finally reaches Him when He has fallen under it and is struggling to get up. Mary and Jesus reach out to each other, touching each other tenderly with their hands, as well as with their eyes. Mary grasps a little part of His garment, and it is clear that she longs to hold him and comfort Him. What profound comfort her presence must have been to Him!

            Mary is Sorrowful Mother to all of her suffering children, and our consecration begins when she comes to us in our time of deep need, as is expressed in the song Come to the Cross by Annie Karto (http://www.sorrowfulmother.net/come-to-the-cross.html):

                            Come to the Cross,
                             come stand by me.
                             I who am your Mother
                             love you tenderly.
                             I see your tears;
                             I know your pain.
                             In my pierced heart
                             I felt the same.   
 

            I have already shared with you how Our Sorrowful Mother came to me when I was desperately in need of loving support when my daughter, Sofia, was going through a period of intense aggression.

            Our Sorrowful Mother continues to touch me with her presence when I am in need of a Mother’s comforting, encouraging presence. On Valentine’s Day I took Sofia, who is now 23, (going on 3 developmentally) to McDonald’s, and I bought her a parfait and me a hot mocha. Then I drove to Moore Park, across from McDonald’s and parked in a pretty spot so we could enjoy our treats. Sofia finished her parfait “lickety-split” and “jumped” out the car, moving quickly. I thought she wanted to take a walk, so I followed her. But she didn’t walk very far. She plopped down on the ground and started playing in a patch of dirt. There were some people at a picnic table about 30 feet from us, so I was not comfortable with Sofia’s behavior, but I found out years ago that I can’t make Sofia stop doing something that she wants to do. So I was just trying to talk her into going back to the car. “Let’s take a long ride, Sofia. You like to take a long ride.”

            Then, out of the blue, I heard Mother Mary speak to me in my heart: “I am with you.” I silently spoke back to her: “I’m embarrassed…What are you feeling?” (It occurred to me that she might be able to give me a wiser perspective on my situation.) Mother Mary responded: “I am pleased with your patience.” (Wow! That relieved my stress a lot!)

            Soon Sofia got up and started walking back to the car. “I’m relieved,” I said to Mary. “What do you feel?” Mother Mary responded, “I am pleased with your perseverance.” Her words were like a whirlpool bath washing all of my tension away! 
                                                            Cami

 Question for Reflection: How has Our Sorrowful Mother come to you in your deep need?



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"Annunciation" by Ira Thomas, www.catholicworldart.com

Reflection of Magda Coronel

I have been taking prayer workshops, and one of the sessions that most got to me was the one which shows the obedience of Mary. When she was told by the Angel that she was going to be impregnated by the Holy Spirit, she showed only acceptance; she did not argue, did not complain, did not put her interests before God's command. She just said, “Let there be in me the will of God.” She suffered a great deal when she saw her only Son die on the cross, and even there she did not complain, did not argue, did not question God.
 
I am trying to live in that acceptance of the will of God, and even though it is very hard, I can feel her hand on my shoulder when I'm struggling to understand God's plan, encouraging me to keep going, to only see that God loves us, and that everything happening in my life is for the greatness of God, because I, like Mary, am a servant of the Lord.


"...true devotion to our Lady is interior, that is, it comes from within the mind and the heart and follows from the esteem in which we hold her, the high regard we have for her greatness, and the love we bear her." (from True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, #106,  by St. Louis de Montfort)


                            
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Santa Teresita del Nino Jesus
Reflection of Socorro Aguilar

I am confident that my Mother Mary arrived at a moment in my life when I needed her so much. She was, and will always continue to be, a blessing in my home. I feel secure with her.

        I feel that she inspired in me more devotion to Santa Teresita del Niño Jesús (St. Therese, the Little Flower), whom I love so much. After all, Mother… She lives in my heart, cares for my children, and always gives to me. So I am very grateful.

        Thank you for having presented to us this devotion, and may God bless you,


                                     Socorro Aguilar



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Young visionaries in Medjugorje 1980's
Reflection of Rosie Aguilar

The way Our Sorrowful Mother came to me in my time of need was when I got married for the first time. This was a marriage that would last nine years, and would end in divorce. Our Sorrowful Mother came to me through my friend Mary, who took a trip to Medjugorje. When she came back she told me that the Virgin Mary was appearing to 4 young girls and 2 boys and that she was giving messages to them. She even showed me a photo that was taken at the time of the apparition, and when it was developed the image of a beautiful looking young woman came out.

                 In that instant I was fascinated and excited. I wanted to share this with everyone, but as always, it was faster to just share it with my Mom. After I walked to my Mom's house, she told me that I looked like I ran to her house; that's how quick I got there. My house was about 10 blocks from hers, and at that time I did not know how to drive. My Mom also told me that I looked like Saint Elizabeth when she greeted her cousin Mary (Lk 1:43): "Who am I, that the Mother of my Lord should come to me?” And that is exactly how I felt.

                 Well, ever since then, the Virgin Mary has been with me. I have been on fire for her. I have wanted to do everything for her and I have, even though I was in a marriage that was not meant to be, and by the grace of God, I was able to get out. Our Lady was always with me, because since the beginning, she excited me to look into the Church's teachings.

I also watched EWTN which was also in its beginnings. I would try to watch as many shows as I could; I guess I was hungry for our Catholic faith. And with this came translations from English to Spanish, so that I could share all this with my Mother, who seemed just as excited.

                 I also received a book called Marian Movement of Priests, messages given to Father Stefano Gobbi. I would read this book every day; this was the way I felt Our Lady communicated with me. I would open the book randomly, and a lot of the times the message read, "Your liberation is near."  Believe me, it was never my intention to be liberated from anything; it all just kind of fell into place.

 It has been 25 years since Our Lady came to me, and she has never left me. After going through a divorce and an annulment, I am now happily married and still doing translations from English to Spanish, not only for my mother, but also for the Little Handmaids and anyone else who needs me.

Everything for the glory of God and His Will!

Rosie, a little handmaid of Our Sorrowful Mother

3-19-12


"...true devotion to our Lady is constant. It strengthens us in our desire to do good and prevents us from giving up our devotional practices too easily. It gives us the courage to oppose the fashions and maxims of the world, the vexations and unruly inclinations of the flesh and the temptations of the devil. Thus a person truly devoted to our Blessed Lady is not changeable, fretful, scrupulous or timid."  (from True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, #109, by St. Louis de Montfort)








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Reflection of Rosy Alfaro

How did our Sorrowful Mother come to you in your deep need?

        I would like to share with all of you, my sisters, that I never thought that someone, representing my Mother, would ask me that question. That someone must be, without a doubt, very pleasing in the eyes of Mary, and identified with her, especially in suffering…I have been living for 75 years. I have lived my life well, and have enjoyed it. I have my husband, who is my life, my strength, and my companion; I could say that he is my all, if I didn’t know that there is Someone who cares even more intensely for me: my God, and my Mother Mary.
        I have five children and seven grandchildren; they are my breath, my joy, and my hope. I have my mother in law, who is 96 years old, and she suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. With her I have learned many lessons from Jesus, about how much He needs from us, here on earth—not in heaven—here!
        Also a granddaughter lives with us, and I have no doubt that, in the manner in which God works, she gives us life. She is hyperactive, has A.D.H.D. Our Mother of Guadalupe protects her; I have been a witness of that protection. It is my hope that no one will hurt her, because my Mother will defend her. I pray a lot for those who are close to her, more than for her.
        I have been in dialysis for five years, and God has shown Himself to me more clearly there, because, while science and technology make gigantic steps, can you imagine the incredible advances that Almighty God has for us, His children? No one should complain; it is not just. God has given us everything, and at this moment he is pouring out an abundance of His Mercy.
        I’m going to share with you a spiritual experience I had. I was seated in my dialysis chair, and Jesus showed me, through the door across from the chair, some clouds that moved and then stopped. Afterwards he showed me a waterfall where pure water poured out. I know through other experiences that no one else saw that. During the vigil of prayer that I make, I asked Jesus and Mary what was it that I saw, and they opened my understanding, so that I could know that the clouds were a message from heaven, and the waterfall of pure water was the fount of Divine Mercy that floods souls for our salvation. God is working intensely, never doubt that! The battle against evil is already won, through the Hearts of Jesus and Mary, you can count on it.
        Now I’m going to answer the question of what makes me a little handmaid of the Immaculate and Sorrowful Heart of Mary. Since before my birth, my Mother (Mary) has taken care of me; step by step, and especially in the most difficult moments, she has been with me. If sometimes I have ignored her help, now at this age—with a terminal illness and with so many manifestations that I have received—she has sustained me in all my struggles. Many ask: “Why her and not Jesus? That question does not bother me, because where she is, there is Jesus. Jesus gives the first place to His Mother, more than anyone else does.
        There is a prayer taught to me by Fr. Gobbi—whom I still cry for, that he rest in peace. He says in his writings: “When you are confused, or you don’t know what to do or how to act, pray this ejaculation, which our Mother taught me, and she herself will come in to do what you cannot do: “Mother, I believe in you, I trust in you, I permit you to act for me—tell me what to do. I believed Fr. Gobbi, and for more than 15 years I have prayed this ejaculation that I have shared with you today. Believe it, live it, and you will see incredible results, and you will realize that our Sorrowful Mother is so close to all of her children.


With great love, deeply inside the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,

Rosy (Alfaro), a little handmaid of the Sorrowful Heart of Mary 


(true devotion)...is trustful, that is to say, it fills us with confidence in the Blessed Virgin, the confidence that a child has for its loving Mother. It prompts us to go to her in every need of body and soul with great simplicity, trust and affection. (True Devotion to Mary, St. Louis de Montfort)   

       
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Basilica of Virgin of San Juan, Pharr, TX

Reflection of Mary Salazar

The way, I remember, Our Sorrowful Mother came to me in my time of need was through my friend, Mary. It was a time that I had problems with my mother and my sister. I did not know what to do, and I was desperately worried. My friend, Mary, who was living at the time, suggested that I make a trip to see Our Lady of San Juan de los Lagos, and said that she would help me. I told my friend that it sounded like a good idea, but Our Lady of San Juan is in Mexico, and at that time I could not travel that far. She told me that I did not have to, that Our Lady of San Juan de los Lagos also has a church here in Texas. I was amazed, because I had only heard of this devotion to Our Lady of San Juan to be in Mexico. I decided to travel to Pharr, Texas to visit the Shrine and to promise Our Lady that, if she helped me, I would go back to visit her in her shrine. I also promised her that I would go inside the church walking on my knees until I reached her statue. My prayers were answered, and that particular situation was solved. I went back to The Basilica of San Juan de los Lagos, walking on my knees as I had promised Our Lady. Our Sorrowful Mother comes to us, and she makes it easy for us to go to her, no matter where we're at.

Mary

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Our Lady of Perpetual Help

Reflection of Ira Thomas

One experience I had of Mary coming to me may not sound very dramatic but was very powerful to me. I was awaiting a biopsy result and I was very tense as I braced myself for what might turn out to be cancer. During those days, I turned to Our Mother of Perpetual Help. The familiar icon of Mary holding the Child Jesus as He ran to her in fear of the Passion that was shown to Him, depicts Him sitting on her arms with a sandal dangling from His foot, which got loosened by His running to His mother, and the two angels on top carrying the instruments of His future torture. Remembering this icon, (in prayer) I ran to my Mother. Within no time, I felt a sudden surge of courage and submission to whatever would come and it stayed with me for the days until I received my result. It was negative, and I was fine; but the whole thing left me permanently confident that my Mother is always with me, carrying me in her arms.

Ira
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Reflection of Alma Thompson

I was 8 years old in 1963 when my father had a heart attack and died.  We were  attending 8:00 Mass, on the feast of Christ the King, when he began to have symptoms. Mother spoke of it always.  When he began to sweat profusely and have chest pain during Consecration, he sat down and told Mom he felt badly.  And she always said that it was at this time that she heard the voice of the Blessed Mother saying, "Do you not realize that I am his mother?" She always talked about this, how she was sure she had heard these words, and how she knew she was turning him over to her.

Many years later, in 2003, my mother passed away. I held her in my arms as I turned her over to God. Then came the hardest time--going to her house, to begin to go through her things to dispose of some and to save others. First, I sat at the kitchen table and cried. I cried until I couldn't cry any more, and then I rose from my chair and turned around, and my eyes fell on a church bulletin that she had laying on a side table.  On it was a picture of the Virgen de Guadalupe, and the words on it read, in the words of the Virgen de Guadalupe to Juan Diego, "Let nothing frighten you nor afflict you.  Am I not here, who am your mother?" And I knew that Mary was there with me, and I was able to finish my task. I joined the Guadalupana Society while my mother was alive. Mama was a Guadalupana, as was her mother.  But I know that it was when I lost my mother that our Sorrowful Mother knew I was hurting, and came to comfort me, as she comforted my mother when she lost the only man she ever loved in her life.

Alma

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    Cami Murphy

    _...Our Sorrowful Mother came to me when I urgently needed her loving support, and then “sent me out” via internet to draw other women to her.

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